High Fives
These stories are celebrations of success, and invitations for you to continue to support Restorative Justice. Please donate today to sustain the transformative work of restorative justice. Even a donation of only $5 -- a "High Five" -- is helpful.
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"Although the conference was very difficult, I think it was very effective and meaningful. It brought everybody together in one place and let us see and experience each others’ humanity." --A Crime Victim |
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I was at my wits end with my adolescent son. Three weeks into the school year he was arrested for assault. This time he had caused physical harm to another teen. I asked that he be taken to juvenile hall...I explained to the arresting officier a lifetime of assorted attempts to change the destructive course my son was obviously on. The beginning of the REAL change happened the day we got involved with Restorative Resources. For the fist time my son was forced to look at how his actions impacted others in a domino-like effect. The connection was genuine as he had to look at the faces and into the eyes of numerous individuals wronged by the unscrupulous choice he had made on that day. Through the Restorative process he was forced to take responsibility for his behavior and to make a real effort ot repair the damage he had caused so many people. My son concluded this program with astounding personal growth...This is not to say he doesn't make poor choices now and then; the difference is he takes responsibility for his choices and seeks to resolve and repair harm on his own. For the first time in his life, I believe my son is proud of the person he is becoming. --Letter from a mother |
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He could have gone to prison...or: Today's newspaper features a story about recipients of a local foundation's scholarship fund. We are delighted to see that one of the recipients is a graduate of Restorative Resource. The young man lost control of a car he was driving, resulting in the death of one of the passengers and serious injuries to himself and three others. No alcohol or drug use involved; just inexperience. Nevertheless, he was charged with negligent vehicular manslaughter, a crime that is punishable by imprisonment. But instead of being incarcerated he was given the opportunity to try to make things as right as possible. He stepped up to the challenge and impressed all of us with his efforts, which were obviously deeply heartfelt and sincere. The parents and families of the victims experienced significant healing and were quite satisfied with the process. As part of his resorative plan he made a short video memorializing the young woman who was killed, and has used it in educational presentations he has given in high schools in Sonoma County. He finished high school, is currently enrolled in a community college, and hopes to use his scholarship to help pay for a four-year college in Southern California. Beats the heck out of prison; not just for the young man, but for all of us. As a society, we're all in this together. How about a High Five to help Restorative Resources bring the same kind of experience to others? |
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A Visible Transformation: I'm Todd Michero. I've been interested in Restorative Justice for many years. My work at Restorative Resources is an opportunity to witness powerful transformations in young people, and healing for victims of crime. For example: While facilitating a Restorative Conference, I was taken back by the jubilant expression of a teen who was working with his parents to create his plan to address the harm his offense caused the community. He was in the middle of sharing an idea when he paused in a sudden moment of reflection. At first, his parents thought something might be wrong, but the huge grin that came over his face relieved their concerns. His words, that broke the unexpected silence, brought smiles to everyone present and reminded me of the power of restoration. “This feels good! I like this”, he declared. His spontaneous admission conveyed his sense of delight that the circumstances that brought him to the conference didn’t have to remain the same; he could repair them, and in the process help himself. His sense of personal empowerment caused him throw his shoulders back and stand taller. His countenance was transformed right before everyone’s eyes. A tentative, struggling, youth left the conference ready to engage the community that he had negatively impacted confident that he could make positive contributions. He was aware that he was a part of something greater than himself; a community in which he could make a difference! Now that’s worth a High Five-maybe even two!! --Todd Michero, March 25 2009 |
"What was most meaningful was getting to tell my story and my experience to the young offender directly. I felt involved in a healing process rather than a process that was merely punitive." --A Crime Victim |
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New Help for the Fire Department: A boy wanted the day off from school so he could hang out with his girlfriend. So he called in two bomb threats--one to his school, one to hers. The restorative conference was attended by school and fire department officials who helped him understand exactly how much time went into responding to the events, and how frightening it was. Among the reparations he agreed to was 40 hours of community service at the Fire Station. Which he completed. And then stayed on, having made friends with some of the firefighters who took a liking to him. He's stepped up, worked hard to make things right, and found a way to be positively involved in the community. We think that deserves a High Five. |
"For my child, the consequences of his actions became real; it became a crime with a face. It allowed him to understand how he impacted his victim." --Parent of a Young Offender |
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The Judge Remembers: Recently one of the juvenile court judges reminded of us of an incident. A boy had been caught shoplifting in a store owned by her neigbor. The store owner wanted justice but was not confident that the normal channels--court, probation, etc.--would be helpful. The judge suggested he give Restorative Resources a try. He agreed, with some reluctance. The outcome? The boy made good on this debt...and now he works as a dependable and trusted employee at the store where he had shoplifted. How about a big High Five? |
"The plan the young offender had to follow was far more thorough than any probation of jail time he would have received. Nice work." --Police Officer |
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"I forgive you." Twenty-year old Ben was shaking uncontrollably. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he looked in the direction of Carla and Marcus. Ben said, “I cannot bring your children back no matter how much I pray for that to happen. I took their lives, I hurt you deeply and I know there is no apology that will ever make that OK. I am so sorry for what I have done and will do whatever you ask of me. It hurts so bad to know I did this, that I am the one solely responsible for taking your children from you.” |
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We weren't sure this one would succeed: An 11-year-old beat up a 9-year old, because the younger boy was wearing a red shirt. Clear sign of gang In the restorative conference he shed many tears of regret and expressed his strong desire to make things right. His idea: to bake a chocolate cake for the younger boy. That's the cake in the photo. We hear the two boys have become inseparable best buddies now. Great job boys! And great job Todd and Tori, who facilitated the circle! High Five! |
"The conference gave me a better perspective on life. Now I think before I act." -- A Teen Offender |
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In the wee hours of the night, three teenage boys tossed some rocks through a window at their school. They were arrested and booked at  juvenile hall within an hour. We know how this would normally go: expelled from school, fines, probation, alienation... But instead what happened was a restorative conference. The outcome: besides the window being repaired, two of the three boys graduated at the end of the semester. They all stepped up and paid restittution. Two of them are fathers, and felt that this incident helped awaken them to the responsibilities of having children. This story's worth a high five or three, wouldn't you say? |
"It gave everyone an opportunity to express to my nephew how his actions affected them. It was important for him to hear this. It helped him take a better path." --Offender's Family |
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I'm going to take that family for everything they have! That's what the insurance company rep told us after a boy lost control of a bottle rocket (firecracker) on school grounds, lit up a bush, and caused $300,000 worth of damage to the adjacent classroom. It's a sentiment that is perfectly within the rep's rights, as a legitimate victim of the crime. The insurance rep came to the restorative conference. Saw the boy--a child--and his mother, a single parent with a part time job. Came to understand their situation. Saw how sincerely remorseful they were, how much the kid regretted the accident and wanted to fix it. The mother offered to cash out the $4200 she had in a retirement fund as a first payment. The insurance got up from her chair, walked across the circle, sat next to the mother and said, "Don't take out that money. Together we'll find a way to work this out." The upshot: court costs reduced. A family keeps its scarce resources intact. This is a small slice of what we mean by "a community of right relationships." Give us a high five. |
"The fact that there was a process to make amends other than punishment helped her learn to take responsibility for her actions." --Parent of a Young Offender |
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Indicator of Emerging Restorative Culture in Schools: For the first time ever we held a circle for a student who was returning from suspension after getting in a fight. The student began Monday morning by meeting with another student who was involved in the fight, their parents and several school staff. The 50-minute circle gave everyone a chance to talk about how the event impacted them. An agreement was made that included the boys making apologies to their parents, teachers, and each other. The boy who was suspended was able to return to school two days earlier because of his willingness to participate in the circle. Beginning to use circles for early return from suspensions is a milestone for us...do you agree? Give us a High Five! |
| More high fives to be posted soon! |
involvement, right? We had our doubts about how the 11-year would respond--gangsters are so intransigent, we figured. Well, did he ever prove us wrong.
High Fives:
Celebrating Transformational
Moments
High-Fives are an invitation to you to help us celebrate some of the successes of Restorative Justice in Sonoma County.
Click on the symbol next to a story that inspires you and Hi-Five by donating $5 or more.
Hi-Five to you for being part of the Restorative Justice community in Sonoma County!